A Year of Change

Happy Birthday to my Wesley David.  His 3rd year was so full of change & growth. Just six days after he turned three Wes became a big brother to TWO baby boys. He transitioned amazingly well. Maybe because his behavior wasn't that great to begin with, (hahaha) we didn't notice a huge change. He has always been gentle, kind & interested in his brothers. It was the realationship with his big sister that was at constant odds. For 9 nine months they fought, bickered, called each other names and pretty much made each other miserable. I thought for sure they were going to grow up despising each other.

Then they started swim lessons at Goldfish Swim School. After the first few weeks Wes still wasn't sold. He didn't want to go (just like pre-school). He'd fuss before the lesson saying he wanted to stay home. He hated wearing his goggles and never wanted to go under water. It got to the point I thought about not taking him anymore. As the weeks progressed Mia was having more & more fun. She was excited for her lessons, getting more comfortable in the water & showing off the ribbons she was earning with each new skill.  Around the end of the year something started to change in Wes. He would put his goggles on before class started. He started going under water with no complaint & and he would yell for Mia across the lane to watch him.

It was here I could start to pinpoint a change in their relationship. Instead of having one day a month where they might play nicely together, they would have 3 or 4 days in a row!!! I'd find them in Mia's bed sharing the ipad for morning cartoons.  He no longer fusses when it's time for school although I still think he would prefer to stay home & play with his friends all day (who wouldn't?).  His teacher said he has recently started taking more time & is showing pride in his  projects, AKA he didn't give a crap before. I've noticed at home too, all of sudden he loves coloring and will spend an hour on one picture. It's so funny because usually he only uses one color crayon. I'm so glad I stuck with taking both kiddos to their swim lessons. It's not always easy to find the energy after working all day to haul both kids every week but the pay off has been SO WORTH IT On so many levels!!!

 

Happy Birthday baby! I'm so proud of all the things you accomplished this year! Starting pre-school, being the best big brother & showing excitement for learning & adventuring. Every year with you gets better & better.

                               This post is in partnership with Goldfish Swim School.

Mean the Most

On Sunday, after a weekend filled w countless bowls of ice cream, walks & play dates my girl still wanted more. The story of her life. She begged us to go to Blendon Woods. Damon & I were grumpy & hot, but we did it anyway. When they look back they'll forget the "mommy's over it" face Imade when she asked me to push the swing higher for the 334th time. All they'll remember are these snap shots. A pb&j on a hot day, mama's silly hat, daddy swinging baby brother who has suddenly become petrified of the swings, chubby feet & wild rides down the slide with the monkey her Aunt Brandi got her the day she was born. This is why I blog, take a million pictures & we go even when we're tired. At the end of all our days this will mean the most.

Bo, the Sweetest Sound

Wesley,

I wish I could follow you around with a video camera all day, everyday.  The little things you say & do are priceless. Daddy & are constantly saying look at him, no look at him. You are so funny & light hearted I told daddy that Mia will probably be an attorney & you'll probably be a ski instructor.  Possibly scuba. lol I love how you hold your little arm up & sing when you hear Let It Go. I love how you try & put your little feet in all the shoes. 

Here you're shouting boo but it sounds more like bo. It's the sweetest sound we've ever heard. We love you sunshine boy. 

Changes

Dear Mia,
I signed you up for pre-scool this week. It was scary, exciting, sad & happy all in the same breath. This describes most days being your mama.  When you were 18 months old you wanted me to sing You are my Sunshine, every nite as we put you to bed. Now you say, don't sing mama.  That's ok because no matter how you change & grow you'll always be my sunshine.

Love you tons.
Mama

Today I Found Myself in a Dark Place

I don't think it's very hard to see that being a mama is my greatest joy.  With this love comes a fear that, every once in while creeps in so strongly it smothers me.  These dark thoughts are the blackest of black. What if something happens to my babies? I can't breathe, I'm consumed by an invisible anxiety that makes it hard to move. Kidnapping, car accident cancer..... My mind is a horrible place to be in these moments. Again, the blackest of black. It usually happens if i watch too much news. Today I was haunted by the death of a local news anchor's beautiful daughter. Lost at only 21. I left Mia at the sitter, as she cried at the door. It was all I could do to pull away. When you become a parent you became vulnerable to a heartbreak & despair that can never be mended. When you become a parent your heart & soul, the greatest joy you've ever known walks away. A tiny being that you would die to protect, but can't.
Mia & Wesley,
In your life you will feel sad, struggle & even suffer great losses. Daddy & I will be there to help you recover and endure.  We will teach you that the human spirit is indomitable. That you must  become a survivor, an optimist & my greatest hope, a lover of life no matter the circumstance. That being said never forget if we could, we would take upon ourselves all of life's sorrow.
Even when I'm not with you, you're in my every thought. I love you my sweet angels.

Wesley Crush: 6 Months

My Precious Boy,
The time has come and gone when all the baby gurus said you should be rolling over.  Last weekend when Esther & baby R were here you rolled from back to tummy just to show off. I am pretty certain if you really wanted you'd be rolling like a maniac. The thing is Wesley Crush, you aren't a maniac. You're simply content to take it all in. You live to be loved on, hugged, squeezed and smooched. I promise you there is no shortage of this!!!  PS Since I wrote this you rolled over twice in a row to grab some toy ice cream! A man after my own ice cream loving heart!!!

You have been on straight formula for a month now & usually take 6 ozs every 3-4 hours.  We finally kicked you out of our bedroom & everyone is sleeping better:) Typically you go down around 7pm, up at 3am for a bottle and then sleep til 7am. You had your 1st over nite with Tachee & Pop Pop this month:)

You took your 1st trip to the North Market with Mom, Mims, Pop Pop & Tachee. You constantly babble and make a ma, ma, ma noise. It  sounds like you are saying mama!! I''m fine with telling everyone that was your 1st word:) You also figured out how to make raspberries. Mia loves to exclaim over your new trick, mom he blew a raspberry!!! You wear 6-9 month clothes & weigh in at 15 lbs 13oz. On occasion something pisses you off, then you have a shriek that could break 1000 glass ceilings:(

Take your time growing up little boy. Mama & Daddy will always be here to encourage and support you. Never comparing or forcing competition between you & your sister. She's our wild thundery rainstorm while you're our gentle breeze, sunshine boy. That is just the way we like it!!!